Competing from a place of freedom, going out there to give it all, is a measure of success in my world far greater than numbers. It’s a feeling reserved only when you get vulnerable enough to send it without a care in the world of the outcome. Because, at the end of the day, the outcome doesn’t matter, who we are matters.
I missed FNL with my CrossFit peeps this week because I was on a fun assignment in Michigan. So, I gave 22.2 a first go this morning shortly after 9am. I was so worried about competing well and put so much pressure on myself to compete well, that I forgot to just go. I never even allowed myself the opportunity, or permission, to give everything and empty the tank.
I journaled immediately after, while on the gym floor: “I am at an unreal level of disappointment after the 22.2 workout. I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to do well, and for some reason, I couldn’t get out of my head to compete. I am more than my scores. I need to remind myself that six weeks ago I wouldn’t have been able to pick this weight up from the ground. I can’t make excuses for myself today. I need to maintain compete ownership and adjust accordingly. Also, I allowed external stuff to get in my lane.”
That entry is interesting for a couple of reasons. I am pretty hard on myself and also dramatic, but I was really getting after how poor my mental focus was going in. I am addressing a real feeling of disappointment while moderating it with care because I know where my value lies. I also maintain complete ownership, which is important. I was worried about myself and didn’t have fun, and that’s a problem.
Based solely on needing to meet that mental performance standard for myself I decided to hit it again. I really didn’t know if I could beat my score from the am—it was hard—but I needed to do it for my mind. My headspace was great, I sent it, and got +15 reps with 5 hours of rest between goes. That’s the difference mindset and joy makes in competition. Competing freely brings out the best in us, and it reserves space for falling short and being a-okay.
CrossFit Open 22.2 Workout
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1
Deadlifts (155) + Burpee Over Barbell
—completed 162 of 200 reps in a 10-minute time cap.
The second of three weeks of competing in the CrossFit Open is a wrap. Let’s have fun with 22.3!
All the love in life through sport,
GLK
