Twice this week I’ve had conversations with athletes that had some slight undertones of comparison or judgment: “You probably think,” “You probably could.” Gratefully I had space for some quick conversations about that language and what I’m actually thinking, because comparison doesn’t creep into my coaching, and neither does judgment.
In some world it might be fun to hear that I was always fit, always on the straight and narrow, always blah blah blah. But that’s not my story.
I have been every kind of athlete. I’ve been committed and at peak performance with the mental, physical, and emotionally regulated (for my age) package. I’ve been at war with darkness after sustaining a major injury and entertained habits that could have killed me. I’ve had years where I didn’t have a relationship with fitness outside of pursuing an Olympic dream, there was a time I generally had no idea what I was doing in the gym or how to go about figuring that out, and there were years that I worked in corporate finance and was a 5AM workout junkie. I’ve been overweight, I’ve had eating disorders, I’ve been happy and healthy and everything in between.
So no, I’m not judging.
H O W E V E R, I do have thoughts about how I have been all those people and lovingly got here—to a place where I value and prioritize a very athletic and competitive lifestyle that’s been fairly consistent for years. Because I am strong, mentally, emotionally, and physically, and I love fitness.
This is the part I shared this week that prompted this post: I did a guided run a few years ago that talked about coaching ourselves toward our aspirations that’s stuck with me. It went something like: “as coaches, we can use the past to inform us and the future to inspire us, but it’s the person we are right now—the us of today—that does all of the work to get us where you want to go.”
I absolutely love that. It’s so easy to dog ourselves in our current state, and sometimes it is a fed-up hatred of something that we are that lights the fire but drive with a plan from a place of purpose and love will outlast any hatred that sparks it. I’m not delusional and saying you have love every part of yourself as is, but don’t get defeated before you start because of a person you once were or a person you’d like to be or by the comparison to anyone else for that matter.
Transformative change happens over time with stacked wins (and likely shortcomings) and then it comes in waves. You don’t see anything (but you keep stacking the chips) and then all of a sudden you’re a person you grew into one step at a time as the you of right now and every moment forward adheres to the process.
So I might not know your details, but I do know how complex my life has been. And I do know love, and hate, and shame and highs and lows, and have leveled out and plan to stay that way.
The bonus of this nonlinear experience in my life is that I don’t need to know your details. I see people, I get it, and I don’t judge. I believe that the stronger we are collectively from a place of love means the better of a world we get to live in, and I love working alongside people and seeing their wins and lifting them up.
I see people working to enhance performance, I see people who value their health and fitness, I see weekend warriors having a blast, and I see some people slaying demons that no longer get the right to see the light of day. And this is just a little bit about what’s going through my mind when I see people at all our different levels in the gym.
Much love my friends.
